music - Sharon Jones, Big Boi, Arcade Fire, Black Keys and more

I'm constantly scouring the webs for the best in new music. And that's not just bragging for a blog, or "brogging." Or maybe "blagging." Yeah, that's better. Let's go with "blagging." I'm a download junkie. I download so much music my progress bar sweats. Literally. No, not literally. Is anyone taking anything literally anymore?

Well, take this: Dan's New Music Reviews

I use a 20 point scale. Why? I guess the same reason Nigel Tufnel uses an eleven point amp. Because it's more. Not blagging. But it is. Let's get started.

- - -

Arcade Fire - Suburbs

Indie rock royalty shows again what makes an artful rock album imminently listenable. Even in the suburbs.

Score: 17/20

These United States - What Lasts

Unlike their last album Everything Touches Everything, which had a distinct Dear And The Headlights (but folkier) feel, this new release doesn't seem to have a point of vi

ew. Ultimately on my iTunes, What Lasts isn't what lasts.

Score: 9/20

M.I.A. - Maya

Definitely a headscratcher here. Was M.I.A. so enamored with being on the next NOW That's What I Call Music compilation she couldn't hear the harsh SFX that drowned out her otherwise sharp pop sensibilities? I dunno. But this album hurt my ears. Emotionally.

Score: 7/20

Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot... The Son of Chico Dusty

Now, this isn't Stankonia, and it isn't The Love Below. There's no "I Like the Way You Move", let alone "Hey-Ya!" But damned if I haven't been (trying to) spit out "I got a back up plan to the back up plan to back up my back up plan," all week. Big Boi's got the dope. (And by that, I mean to say he's good. Good at rapping.)

Score: 15/20

Dirty Projectors + Björk - Mount Wittenberg Orca

You're gonna have to drop your avant-garde guard for this one. If you don't like weird, you're not gonna like this. But chances are if you know the Dirty Projectors, you know they're among the best rock experimentalists since... well, Björk. This album is the equivalent of a painting by both Van Gogh and Dali. They make it (clap-clap) hurt so weird.

Score: 13/20

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - I Learned The Hard Way

The way I usually describe Sharon Jones to people who haven't heard her stuff goes something like this: "If you like good music, you'll like it." As arrogant and dumb as that sounds, it's true. No one that likes good, American music doesn't like Sharon Jones. And this latest soul/R&B classic is just another in a long line of superb offerings from a living legend.

Score: 18/20

The Gaslight Anthem - American Slang

This year's Kings of Leon? Maybe. The GA has put together a tight All-American rock record that's somehow equal parts KoL, The Hold Steady and Bruce Springsteen without quite measuring up to any of them.

Score: 13/20

Samantha Crain - You (Understood)

Wait, this chick is from Oklahoma? Wow. Really? Don't get me wrong, my home state has produced some fine musicians (see Woody Guthrie, The Flaming Lips, Gary P. Nunn, Garth Brooks; kindly ignore Color Me Badd). But Oklahoma musicians aren't exactly known for their understated poetry, which is what Ms. Crain pulls off with this album.

Score: 14/20

Here We Go Magic - Pigeons

Viva the Sophomore Slump! What a letdown this was after their self-titled debut. Pigeons, the animals, are annoying and all over the place. Just like Pigeons, the album.

Score: 8/20

Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots

Perception: Reunited 90s grunge gods have no chance at relevance in a post-radio rock n' roll environment.

Reality: (see perception)

If you yearn for the 90s, listen to Core. I do.

Score: 3/20

Ceiling Stars - All The Fallen Parts

If you don't believe folk-tinged roots rock can come from the Big City, you need to drop that cynical, country-fried snobbiness right now. And you need to give Chicago's Ceiling Stars a spin. With their minor label debut, Nate Van Allen (of The Siderunners) and co. have managed to carefully drape a blue collar work ethic over a bleak, post-apocalyptic backdrop for a dark yet satisfying three-quarters of an hour. (And the whole thing costs less than $2 here!)

Score: 14/20

Black Keys - Brothers

No review. Any time wasted reviewing is time you could be listening to this bare blues-rock masterpiece. Download now. Or Jimmy Hendrix's ghost will light your pubes on fire, then inhale. Don't think he won't do it.

Score: 19/20

Band of Horses - Infinite Arms

BoH don't change much from album to album. A slide guitar here, a sticky bass drum there. And their Wilco-like consistency is enough to turn on hoards of new fans with each release. The only thing missing on this record is a quirky, upbeat "Weed Party" kind of track. But it's been replaced with something smoother, a steady, collaboratively-formed group of songs arranged neatly into one package. Let the debate commence over which of the last three albums is best.

Score: 17/20

World Cup Final Thoughts and Rankings

The quadrennial event that captured the hearts and crotches of the world has come to an end. So, what have we learned from the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa? I’ve compiled a few universally-agreed-upon notes.

- An overwhelming majority of Americans are of Spanish ancestry, hundreds of millions more than recent census data indicated, all choosing to announce their heritage just after the final whistle blew.

- The Dutch are the pre-2004 Red Sox of soccer, having three finals appearances and zero championships.

- The Dutch are the Oakland Raiders of soccer.

- The French team made headlines early on in the tournament, and throughout the first round. Their 2010 World Cup campaign can best be summarized here.

- George Steinbrenner died after seeing Yanks fans at a soccer match.

- Italy reportedly fielded a squad, entered the tournament and competed in three whole matches, completely unnoticed.

- The French surrendered.

- Our Yanks fought hard, but were undone by an African side that fought harder. That and Jozy Altidore accidentally wore Michael Johnson’s 1996 Olympic shoes.

- Spain’s Iker Casillas won the Golden Gloves award, as the best goalkeeper of the tournament, making it the second most impressive trophy he earned in South Africa.

- The “vuvuzela”, a brand-new, never-heard-before invention was criticized throughout the tournament as being far too loud and innovative for fans to endure. The horns we’ve all heard blaring in previous years’ matches were fine, but these vuvuzelas, they need to go.

And finally, below I’ve included the Official Final Rankings released by FIFA for the World Cup that was.

2010 WORLD CUP FINAL RANKINGS

1. Spain

2. Netherlands

3. The Person Who Does The Lettering On Schweinsteiger’s Jersey

4. Vuvuzelas (for the people blowing into them)

5. That Dashing Striker For Uruguay

6. The Most Disgraced Brazil Team Ever

7. That Other “Guay”

8. Diego Maradona’s Secret Cocaine Suit Pocket

9. Where The United States Should’ve Finished

10. United States

11. Mexico, a.k.a. “Spain Jr.”

12. Slovenia or Slovakia, Forget Which

13. Christiano Ronaldo’s ridiculous goal

14. Christiano Ronaldo’s ridiculous abs

15. Univision Announcers

16. England & the English press (tie)

17. Ivory Coast

18. Naming Your Country After The Devastating Harvest Of Elephant Tusks

19. Switzerland (though they’d prefer to stay neutral and tie with everyone)

20. South Africa

21. Exclamation Points On Facebook Status Updates

22. New Zealand

23. Zealand

24. Some Random European Country That, Frankly, No One Cares About

25. Tony Meola

26. Italy

27. Anyone Who Didn’t Scream When Donovan Scored That Goal Against Algeria

28. New York Islanders

29. Vuvuzelas (for everyone else)

30. John Harkes As An Announcer

31. France

32. North Korea & The Referee From The US/Solvenia Game (tie)

Bastille Day

Sure, it's a random time to post. But as Americans, we have our French brothers and sisters to thank for much of our liberty and snails. And what better day to pay tribute than Bastille Day?

For it was on this historical day in history when Marie Curie used the guillotine to slice the very first loaf of French bread, thereby freeing Joan of Arc from the clutches of Pepe Le Pew.

Then, they donated this national treasure to us as a way of saying "thanks for inventing freedom".

Well you're welcome, France. And congratulations on your independence from Britain. Here's a quick Tribute to France from all of us at McLunch Would Like To Have A Word With You.

Viva La France!

walkin' for CF part 2: "the sequel: my billion dollar anti-CF crusade: part 2"

Hey guys.

Many of you will remember that I participated in a walk to benefit Cystic Fibrosis research last year. And thanks largely to you, my friends, I raised a ton of money. The most of any individual walker. Basically, I punched CF in the nuts. It felt great.

This year, on May 1st, I plan to do even better, eclipsing the dreams of my wildest expectations.

You will notice the "website" below says my goal is to raise $1,000. That's blatant false lying! The truth is, my goal is (pause for drama)... One. Billion. Dollars.

Yes, that is terrifically ambitious. And impossible. But I believe in aiming for the impossible. Otherwise, we'll never reach the really high, but still possible. Jules Verne didn't call his novel "From The Earth To Slightly Above The Earth". He imagined a voyage all the way to the Moon! Fast forward a century and: Bam. Armstrong.

See what I'm saying? My goal is equally Vernesque. It might seem crazy to try to increase my donation total from last year by 50,000,000%. But dammit. It's crazy to let this CF, this disease, continue strutting around unchecked! It affects 30,000 people in this country, my nephew among them. And I don't know about you, but no pansy little disease is gonna push my family around.

So help me in my effort to walk a 5k, reach one billion dollars, and in the process, totally humiliate an entire disease.

Donate Here >> http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/DanielHofstadter

Read more about CF here>>

See a cute photo of my nephew here>>

And seriously. Thanks.

Your pal,

Dan

new ted vids

It's a Ted Twin Feature!

Check out her latest nonadventures!

First up, That Guy Who Talks To Ted explains another strange dream he had. Ted does yoga breathing to get through it.

Whack-a-Mole

Then, there's a self-aware conversation where Ted and That Guy Who Talks To Ted discover the limitations of their existence.

Glued to the Floor

If you like pregnant pauses and robotic monotone voices, Happy Early Easter!

Please enjoy.

the 2010 DASBAA

The 2010 DASBAA (Dan’s Annual Super Bowl Advertising Analysis)

“Your Yearly Source For Annual Ad Coverage Every 12 Months”

Welcome to this years’ DASBAA. It’s so nice to see all of you again. Have you lost weight? Please, make yourself at home. Try the hummus. Before you get too comfortable though, I’d like you to join me in congratulating Drew Brees on his beautiful wife. A commendable accomplishment indeed.

And yes, he led the Saints to their first Super Bowl win, causing mass chaos in the otherwise tranquil French Quarter of New Orleans. Real estate in the area has plummeted after something locals are calling a “party” broke out after the final whistle blew. Tragic.

But you didn’t tune into the DASBAA for some lame football report, did you? You want the straight dope on the inside scoop of the good word, am I right? We’re talkin’ ads here, folks! Big-time, big-money, big-audience (both in numbers and in weight), big… disappointment?

I put a question mark after that last sentence to give an air of suspense, but the truth is, I could’ve used a period. At least for overall quality, as the ads were largely underwhelming, with some notable exceptions. But the interesting moments this year came from the “controversies” and “themes”.

So let’s talk ads, themes and controversies, shall we? I’ll try to ‘Brees’ through it. (Please forgive that. I meant only to illustrate the level to which the creativity has dropped in Super Bowl ads this year.)

- - -

The Winners:

Audi – My favorite spot and this year’s DASBEST Award Winner (yep, it took me six years to come up with that name) is “The Green Police”. This spot was very well executed (even the use of a tired Cheap Trick song seemed to work), tapped into a ripe, contemporary subject and managed to make it funny for both greenie weenies in San Francisco (went over well at my party) and Texas Two-Stoppers of Recycling (patent pending on that phrase).

Snickers – Betty White playing football. Need I say more? Okay, Abe Vigoda playing football. There. Need satisfied. This one also won the 2010 USA Today Ad Meter, which is apparently some kind of DASBEST knockoff.

Vizio – Clean, slick and ultra-recently-nostalgic. Good combo. Not sure it’s going to blow the lid off Super Bowl advertising for the next generation, but this spot was well conceived and executed. Note the cameos by an assortment of youtube stars. Hey, I remember them!

Coke – I debated demoting this one into the also-rans, since it showed very little of the edge and wit of The Simpsons, opting instead for the unbridled optimism of Coke. But at the end of the Sunday, it was a pretty fun spot to watch. And damn it, I love The Simpsons. Plus, Milhouse saved the spot at the end with “Sorry, Coke!” Ah… There’s that wit.

- - -

The Also-Rans:

Doritos – No, these spots weren’t great. But they were made by amateurs. Good work, kids! It was fun laughing at your work, then patronizingly referring to it as “amateur”.

Bud Light – There are way too many ads here to put them either higher or lower than this. Bud Light reminds me of the comedian who can’t decide which version of the same joke to tell. So he tells them all. And it ain’t gettin’ funnier.

The Whole Tebow “Controversy” – Were you like me, bracing for some heavy-handed pro-life commercial that was going to simultaneously ruin Tebow’s pro football career before it even started and infuriate Ruth Bader Ginsburg at the same time? Instead, we were treated to a lame, seamless-white background in front of which Tebow tackled his mom for some reason. And now, the ad with the biggest pre-game hype is the one no one is talking about.

- - -

The Losers:

Sketchers – C’mon. The one remotely interesting thing about your commercial, Joe Montana, didn’t even show up in the ad. It sounded like he just left someone a voicemail and they played it during the spot. Abysmal showing, Sketchers.

Dr. Pepper – Mini-KISS; larger-than-life-sized failure. (Side note: I actually saw Mini-KISS play in concert once. No joke. Spoiler alert: they don’t play their instruments or sing. Rock on!)

E-Trade – Talking babies! Talking babies! AAAAAAAHHHHH! I can’t get enough talking babies! I want to eat their faces! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Sketchers – The Ad so Bad I Had to Add it twice… Dad.

Pantsless Ads Theme – Somebody had to get fired for this one. First, I watch a very unfunny ad about an office full of people with no pants. Then, immediately following that, I watch another ad about not wearing pants. And this one is by Dockers, a pants company. I can’t even remember what either ad was trying to say. I just remember feeling bad for whoever placed those two spots butt-to-butt. What a dumbass.

And finally, I’d like to extend a special welcome to members of our DASBAA Frequent Losers Program, who need no introduction.

Budweiser

GoDaddy.com

Thanks for flying with us, losers.

- - -

And that wraps up this year’s DASBAA. Congrats to the DASBEST Winner, and all the spots that made it all the way to the big game. At the end of the day, you’re all winners. Except you, losers.

And a special extra congratulations to Reggie Bush, who not only has a Super Bowl ring, but who also has his trophy.

Don’t forget. Next year is the 2011 DASBAA, the second-to-last edition before the world ends. See you then.

El viaje ha terminado...

So we're back from our trip to Argentina and Chile.

Here's a link to a motherload of more photos and videos, virtually everything I took from my iPhone over the 12 day trip: (motherload)

And here's the official debriefing.

- Argentine Beef - All it was billed up to be. Excellent and plentiful. Although I couldn't seem to find a filet mignon, my favorite cut of meat. Maybe it's too French for them. And maybe vegetables were too west coast for them, because they were scarce.

- Buenos Aires - Ironic misnomer. The streets reek of exhaust. So many vehicles and apparently so few regulations on emissions. Fun city though. My favorite part was the Cemeterio La Recoleta.

- Award for Most Improved Spanish - Eric. He was able to successfully order himself "agua sin gas" and ask for "la cuenta" by the time we left. And when we arrived, he was mispronouncing words so badly, it even started to affect his English vocabulary. No one could understand him in either language. But he made huge strides. Congrats, E.

- Southern Hemisphere Summer - Overall, better than winter.

- Tango Show - Damn, those chicks are flexible.

- Payasos - Clowns. For some reason, every bum in Chile decided to dress up as a clown. And one threatened us and pretended to shoot us with a lead pipe that looked an awful lot like a gun. Wasn't remotely funny.

- Valparaiso - Amazing, colorful, cheap, warm, friendly, artsy, graffitied, intellectually stimulating, altogether fulfilling. Wish we could've stayed there another week.

- Bidet Usage - Argentina: yep. Chile: nope.

- Chilean Wine Country - Dangerously undercommercialized. We were the only people at 4 of the 5 wineries we visited. And these weren't little hole-in-the-wall startups. They were large, dramatic constructions perched on magnificent plots of land in Colchagua Valley, dispensing some mighty tasty vino. And hardly anyone was around. Incredible. (Go there. Now. Before it becomes Napa.)

- City Slickers - That we are, without a doubt. Every time there was a horse in the road or a mule pulling a cart of vegetables, we pointed and murmered excitedly like Japanese tourists glimpsing a pair of authentic 501's. We also rode horses, and my back and butt are still sore. We were pretty much just like the movie, except funny.

- The Chilean Coast - Rocky and scenic, much like the coast of Northern California.

- Approximate Square Acreage of Non-Hilly Chilean Land - 2.

- Overall Driving Score - D+. We avoided any accidents, which was good. But clearly, navigation is not a hereditary skill (my dad was a navigator in the Air Force), as I kept us needlessly crisscrossing the nation of Chile (at least we were just going east-to-west, it's much farther north-to-south down there). But to my defense, they don't really allow road signs to reach their full potential by putting them far enough ahead of the exit they indicate to give a driver enough time to actually direct his vehicle toward it. Oh well. At least our van was cool. Seriously, Eric and I loved that van.

- Thanksgiving - Missed it. Or did we? Well, yes. But we did make our own delicious dinner over an open flame. Almost made up for our mother's dressing (stuffing), potatoes, turkey and gravy.

In conclusion, saying we had a great time would be an understatement. And I'm glad I could update this here blog for friends and family back in the States to keep up with our exploits. (It was easy. I could live in the moment as I shared said moment to you!)

Thanks to Eric and Laura for letting us crash their trip (although we did give you a 12 month heads-up). Jill and I absorbed so much great culture, wine and food. And we had a blast hanging with you guys.

Until next time...

Punta De Lobos

A quick view from the point at Punta de Lobos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6VqFblgwrg&feature=youtube_gdata

Pics from around Pichilemu

Sleepy little surfer town...

Manly fire

Our last night in Pichilemu, Eric and I built the greatest campfire
known to man.

Then we cooked some corvina (sea bass), mariscos (clams & oysters),
and veggies.

Delish.

Pichilemu

Simple, bare, exposed wood and not much more is all that comprises our
place in Pichilemu, the tiny surf town on the Chilean coast. Removed
from civilization and very rustic, our thanksgiving might not be in
the States, but we feel a kinship with those first Americans and the
Native Anericans (the original Americans). That's right. I said it.
Kinship.

We're going to buy some seafood and grill our dinner on the fire pit
tonight. Happy Thanksgiving!

The beautiful Bisquertt Vineyard

On a lovely Thanksgiving Day between Santa Cruz and Pochilemu, Chile.

Hmm...

"Should I tell her my hair traveled here from 1989?"

Yet more from Colchagua

More from Colchagua

Wine tasting in Colchagua