batman-on-batman action

US disputes North Korea's "giant hot dog" launch

Washington (AP) - Top US intelligence officials disputed North Korea's claim it was going to launch a giant hot dog into space next month. The officials pointed out that the object on the launch pad in Pyongyang looked much more like a long-range nuclear missile than a giant hot dog.

"Who do they think they're fooling?" National Intelligence Director Dennis Blair said at a press conference Thursday. "There's no way that thing is a giant hot dog. It's a freaking missile. It looks just like all the other missiles they have." 

Still, North Korea has held fast to the giant hot dog claim, even writing a press release in English, urging Americans not to worry about "the big hot dog on the missile launch pad, which is totally a hot dog, not a missile."

Americans are not the only ones with doubts though. Japanese officials are among the skeptics. And six-time Hot Dog Eating Champion and Japanese resident Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi has been enlisted as an expert to investigate North Korea's claim. 

"I see no evidence of lucky hot dog," Kobayashi said through an interpreter and a mouthful of Nathan's hot dogs and water. 

Back in the States, Blair agrees. He believes the whole thing is a ruse by North Korea to throw off American, Japanese and other international leaders by pretending their missile was a giant hot dog. 

But Blair's not buying it. "Where's the bun? Where's the relish? Wait, do Koreans even eat relish? Someone find out. I don't want to start an international incident here."

the revolution

I don't know if you've noticed, but there are signs of a movement everywhere. The people are putting actions behind their convictions. 

A revolution is underway. 

A vacuum revolution. 

And who is giving a voice to this revolution? James Dyson. Have you seen this assclown? Surely you've seen the ads. This incredibly arrogant descendent of British jerks tells us all the inspiring story of how he singlehandedly changed the vacuuming industry overnight. According to his website, all of us see faults in everyday products, but only Dyson has the courage, infinite free time and funding to improve them. And his super-sucky designs have brought him fame and riches of over $6 billion. And he's going to spend millions in advertising to make sure you know it, regardless of coming off as an unrepentant, pretentious asshole. If you haven't used his vacuums, you've probably dried your hands in his airport hand dryer, for which he'll surely find a way to charge and demean you. He even has his own foundation and annual award, both of which he named after himself. 

Okay, we get it Dyson. You're the goddam modern-day Galileo. But I've got news for you, Dy-Vinci. (These renaissance jokes doing anything for you?) The world already has a Vizier of Vacuum Vanity. His name is David Oreck, owner and star of his own self-named vacuum company. And according to his website, he's a much bigger badass than your wildest dreams could ever aspire to hope for. Oreck drives mint-condition motorcycles to work, pilots his own biplanes, and refuses to even think about retiring, even though riding motorcycles and flying in open-air cockpits at 85 years old probably endangers dozens of lives. What a rebel! Oreck even joined the Army Air Corps (what the Air Force used to be called before jet engines were invented) at the age of 17. And that's not even legal! 

So what are you gonna do now, Dyson? Oreck just owned you in this vacuum magnate pissing contest I just made up. He's more experienced, rebellious, reckless and maverick-y than you'll ever be, Dyson. 

And he speaks American. Face it, Dyson. Oreck was saving your country's ass when your diapers were clogging your mommy's vacuum. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Katie's wedding

My cousin Katie got married last weekend in Amelia Island, Florida to Jeb, a really good guy. It was a very fun wedding, and I got to spend a lot of time with my nephew, the happiest baby on Earth. I might do a study on what makes babies smile, or why it's so utterly delightful for us adults to watch. (See the absurd number of hits on this video.)

names I've been called by bums

The city of San Francisco has a personality unlike any other. There's beauty in the landscape and surrounding water, and in the architecture. There's a unique balance of being a center of business, finance and the arts, while owning a pervasive attitude of tolerance throughout the city. 

And there are a shitload of bums here. Not the attack-you-in-Central-Park kind of bums or the OD'ed-on-meth-and-crank-and-passed-out-in-a-dumpster kind of bums (although drugs are a large part of many bums' daily lives). SF homeless, by and large, are a more pensive, intellectual breed. Sure, they will panhandle and ask for money. But they'll also cite the Wall Street Journal and Voltaire at you as you pass by. 

One bum even defended my wife's honor. She was walking on a main street, passing by an alley, when a bum in the alley began to pee on a building, not unusual behavior for a man without a home. But then another bum, let's call him Hero Bum, got in Peeing Bum's face and yelled, "You can't whip that out in front of a lady, man! Have some respect!" Hero Bum then apologized to my wife for the poor judgement the other man exhibited in "his neighborhood". And they say street chivalry is dead.

That said, we've also almost been peed on walking down the street too. 

The following is a list of things SF bums have yelled at me. Notice the tendency to avoid clichés in favor of creative spontaneity.

"Mr. Rotisserie!"

"Fortune 500? More like zero!"

"You're the Palo Alto of never!"

"It was the worst of times and the worst of times!"

"Death to Actors!"

"I put a curse on your children!"

"Obama wants you... to give me your spare change."

"Hollywood Hallelujah!"

"You wish faggot!" (this was yelled at me as I glanced at a toothless woman peeing in the street)

And that was just on the way to work this morning! Rimshot.

music - Hold Time by M. Ward

M. Ward has been described as a reincarnated Woodie Guthrie and a pre-incarnated Klaxtor McQuellsburg (who I believe will be a great folk/rock singer in 2051). He's the coolest folk-rocker out there today, and he's chugging right along with his latest LP.

Truth is, I could write absolutely anything that comes to mind about M. Ward and his album "Hold Time". Because what I write won't matter once you hear his music. I could call him a poet with the soul of a pirate, or the illegitimate son of Yasmine Bleeth and the Maytag Man. You'd still fall in love with his warm guitar picks and soothing voice. M. Ward is the rare musician whose music is both easy to access and deeply satisfying. 

But perhaps more importantly, he likes to dress up as the Easter Bunny and snack on pterodactyl embryos. 

It's true. Read about it on his site.

music - Fate by Dr. Dog

Looking for a band that isn't afraid to be huge fans of some of the best rock bands in history? Well, Dr. Dog has the prescription for you! 

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's been more than a week since I last posted and I'm a little rusty. So I'm using puns to grease the wheels (see?). 

Bear with me. This band is worth hearing about. Contrary to their terrible and terribly deceptive name, Dr. Dog is a very talented and soulful band. Not a terrier who has completed medical school (I smell a sitcom!). 

Dr. Dog plays what could be described as really thoughtful pop/classic rock. But I like to describe Dr. Dog's album "Fate" like this. For every song they record, the band burns a copy of the Beatles' "Sergeant Pepper" with their own song hidden in there somewhere. Then they play it at a party to see if anyone notices or mentions that one song seems out of place. If no one notices, they keep the song for their next album. 

Not that Dr. Dog is purely derivative, but they're clearly trying to play with the big boys at the pinnacle of rock and roll. So they deserve to be judged by that standard. And tracks like Army of Ancients get this band with the awful name awful, awful close.

Here's Dr. Dog's weird website.

Pantalaine

Okay, let me try and compose myself for this post. 

Um, I don't know how to tell you this but... you're blind. 

You're blind because you haven't seen anything until you've seen this site!

UN

BE

LIEV

A

BLE. 

Pantalaine.com sells what they describe as "plural clothing". Please take a moment and explore this site right now. 

There are sweatshirts built for lovers, pants with sleeves attached to them so up to four people can touch your leg, pants with a built-in baby onesie, and - the crown jewel of the collection - a "couch dress". I would like to remind those of you that haven't clicked these links to please do so right now.

I still haven't figured out if this is for real. And I can't decide if it would be more mind-blowingly brilliant if it was or wasn't. That, in itself, is an achievement. 

But if anyone knows someone who lives near South Bend, IN (a student at Notre Dame, perhaps), please ask them if they've been to this store. And then leave a comment below. I'm dying to know.

Sigh... If only every website made me feel like sharing clothes with everyone else online. 

Nut Snob

We've all heard that cliché about the French. Not the "froglegs/snails/cheese/body odor/surrendering to anything that represents a vague threat" thing, the snobby thing. Well apparently, it applies to French squirrels too.

Check out this video about a French squirrel who moves into a new neighborhood and thinks his, um, nuts are better than everyone else's. (His nuts are Emerald Nuts, you see.)

It was directed Terry Rietta, who did it all in his spare time for no money. Time well spent, if you ask me.

book - The Road

I just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The story was fragile, terrifying and relentlessly bleak, and I haven't read a book that good in years*.

To be clear, The Road depressed the hell out of me. But in a way only beautiful art can. It never tried to pull at your heartstrings or put a smile on your face. The story was sad and hopeful and bleak naturally, in the same way McCarthy's No Country For Old Men was desperate and odd and funny.

Maybe I've been reading too much nonfiction lately, but the clean, minimalist style of this novel felt like a breath of fresh air to me. It read like poetry.

Incidentally, it's being made into a movie starring Viggo Mortensen, which means anyone who read the book first will sit in the theater with expectations set dangerously high. Right where they should be.

- - -

*Maybe since Then We Came To The End by Joshua Ferris.

Jumbotron Spazz

We can glean a few things about the subject of this video.

1. He's at least a mild basketball fan.

2. He's a huge Bon Jovi fan.

3. He doesn't mind hugging strangers.

4. He might've majored in interpretive dance.

5. He's about to be a huge internet star.

http://urbanpromoter.com/jumbotron-spazz/

Tahoe

Jill and I had a blast in Tahoe with Clayton, Matt, Wes and Julie.

Trip highlights:

- Skiing over, and repeatedly wiping out on, a big jump after watching Clayton and Matt nail the landing.

- Eating some fine cuisine cooked by my cabin mates: Chef Matt, Chef Julie, Chef Jill and Sous-Chef Clayton.

- The hot tub. It was hot and tub-shaped.

- Oh, and winning a shitload of money thanks to Julie "Tha Hustla" Holmes's lucky rolls at the craps table. 

Check out some more pics at my flickr page. (Photos courtesy of Clayton.)

words I use

Everything's meta today. Even today knows that.

In the interest of giving my blog a more postmodern feel, I've made some word clouds of words I use on this blog. The most frequently used words show up biggest. Seems I could've found another word for "umbrella". "Parasol", perhaps?

If you want to make your own word clouds, you can here. I had a lot of fun on this site. Wordle.net lets you insert huge amounts of text or just enter a url to create and customize a word cloud. You can also check out other people's creations, like this one that shows the top 75 words from Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities". Looks like literary geniuses use "said" just as often as the rest of us. 

my dog is on youtube

Q: Do you know any dogs on youtube?

A: Yes.

Q: Could you be more specific?

A: Absolutely.

Q: Could you be more specific now?

A: Sure.

Q: Quit being a dick.

A: Sorry. Yes, my dog is on youtube.

Q: Is that so?

A: Yes.

Q: Is there a link?

A: Yes.

Q: I'm going to punch you in the clavicle.

A: Fine, here's the link: Cia on Youtube 

Q: That was exhausting. Can I click on the link now?

A: What a strange question.

Super Furry Animals video

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I'll leave you with a link to a really cool music video I just rediscovered. I couldn't remember the name of the band, song or director for the longest time. 

Anyway, it's pretty damn impressive. Enjoy...

"At Least It's Not the End of The World" by Super Furry Animals

a history lesson

Don't worry. Not a real one. This is a fake history lesson, featuring my voice as President Garfield.

Check it out here: The Secret History of the Orange Underground

(Someone needs to tell these guys that YouTube is no place to keep your secret history.)

The 2009 DASBAA

The 2009 DASBAA (Dan’s Annual Super Bowl Advertising Analysis)

“Celebrating five years of overanalyzing ad minutiae.”

Welcome to the 2009 DASBAA. This year, I’m happy to announce that I’m being sponsored by Pepsi. But don’t worry, dear readers. I won’t let this affect my unconflicted interest of breaking down the most expensive, enticing and pepsi-riffic Super Bowl commercials this year has to offer.

It’s been a great year, friends. The Steelers became the winningest Super Bowl team ever, Kurt Warner’s wife became hot (by growing hair!), and some “amateurs” created the top-rated (by consumers who agreed to play with little dials instead of drinking beers during the game) ad of the big game. Is this pep-resentative of a larger trend? Let’s dig in…

(Follow along here: http://adage.com/article?article_id=134136 And vote for your favorites on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/superbowl)

- - -

In an effort to cover more spots without wearing out my keyboard, I’m going to make my commentary for the losers short, pithy and insulting. Basically, I’ll try to be Triumph the Ad Comic. So let’s skip ahead to the losers now.

Losers:

Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes – It’s sad when a spot opens on grass growing. And then it gets worse. And who let Tony the Molester build kids’ baseball fields as his community service?

Go Daddy – Go home. Danica Patrick isn’t that hot. Your ads aren’t smart. And your website is so cluttered and dysfunctional, it looks like it was designed by Muhammad Ali during an earthquake.

Castrol – A guy lets monkeys change his oil. This is what ads must look like in hell.

Sobe Life Water – Lizards and pro athletes dancing ballet. Was this the trailer for “Anaconda 4: The Reptiles Stole Our Ideas”? I mean gimme a Pepsi!

Bud Clydesdales – Anheuser-Busch should start making glue. Wait, maybe that’s what American Ale is. Yum… Beechwood-aged Clydesdale.

- - -

Winners:

Careerbuilder.com vs. Monster.com – This year was very interesting for the job search sites. Amid the worst recession this country has seen since Gorbechev’s forehead receded to show a map of Key West, the two largest job search sites, Career Builder and Monster, are running $3 million ads. Uh, I don’t think the problem is that people don’t know where to look for jobs. The problem is there aren’t any. But economics aside, these were two very funny, well-executed ads. I keep going back and forth on which I thought won the Super Bowl of Job Site Commercials. Both were es-pepsially sharp. Career Builder’s reasons why your job sucks (repeated with good comic timing) versus Monster’s moose head panning around to the moose’s ass… I think it’s a tie.

Cheetos –Prissy snob girl gets a flock of pigeons pooping on her after a snacker tosses a pile of Cheetos under her chair. Take that, you stuck up bitch! Shout out to my buddy Andy, who made this spot, and made it funny.

Hyundai – The Koreans get a nod here not for their ads, but for the offer. If you buy a Hyundai and lose your job in the next year, you can return the car to them with no damage to your credit. I wish I had a joke here. But it’s just a smart angle.

Coke – Bugs steal a sleeping picknicker’s Coke! Super-slick animation and some nice adventure-style direction. Sweet ad.

Denny’s – What if mobsters and cowboys ate candy-ass breakfasts? Funny stuff. And the dancing banana on top of the whip cream pancakes (“It’s Nannerpuss!”) that ran after the game was damn funny stuff.

Hulu – Alec Baldwin. You can’t trust him. You can’t look away. Hulu makes the claim that it’s easier than ever to turn your brain to mush by watching all your favorite shows online. I love honesty.

Pepsuber – Pepsi, having not had an original idea presented to them in years, wisely decided to latch onto a funny SNL sketch to sell their soda. McGruber, deftly played by Will Forte and assisted by the amazing Kristin Wiig and, well, MacGuyver, has to work his way out of yet another life-or-death situation with the time-bomb ticking down. Only this time, he’s shamelessly sponsored by Pepsi. Smart guy. He changes his name to “Pepsuber” and gets distracted by the refreshing taste of Pepsi before he can save the day. After careful consideration and unbiased deliberation among myself and my sponsor, this ad is the winner of the 2009 Pepsi Award for Pepsellence.

- - -

Also-Rans:

Bud Light Conan – Conan O’Brien is funny. Bud Light is a watered-down beer. Put them together and what do you get? A watered-down funny.

Cars.com – Nice storyline here. Probably could be a winner in another forum. But the Super Bowl is about beer, bitches and punching koalas.

Cash4Gold – Holy Potsmoking Creatives! What the hell just happened here? Did Ed MacMahon just sell his gold toilet to MC Hammer? I can’t call this one a loser since it’s so whacked out, but it’s definitely farther from being a winner.

Doritos – What is this? Amateur hour? Yes it is, actually. Well, kinda. Doritos asked consumers (read: out-of-work ad creatives) to send in their own ads (read: ask your out-of-work director friend for a favor). In the spot, a guy throws a crystal ball into a snack machine and then into his boss’s crotch. They safely avoided any class or artistic merit (but hey, we’re talking about artificially-flavored chips) in favor of slapstick humor. It worked. I laughed (despite myself). America voted. And a million bucks went to a couple dudes in Iowa. God Bless America and Pepsi.

E-Trade – The web-surfing baby strikes again. I can’t make this one a “winner” for two reasons. One, it’s the same idea from last year. Two, it’s a talking baby. Anything John Travolta made money doing, I can’t fall in love with. (Sorry, Stealth Bomber pilots.)

Miller High Life – Where were these ads? I didn’t see them. Either they didn’t show in the Bay Area or they pulled them at the last second. But I saw them ahead of time online, and they were hilarious. If you didn’t catch them, Miller did a bunch of random one-second ads (because High Life wouldn’t pony up enough money for a 30-second spot). Check them out online. Good stuff. They just can’t be winners if they don’t run.

Teleflora – I wanted to like this ad, the one with the talking flowers. But it was just a little too flat. The flower only said one line that was actually funny. It could’ve really torn into that poor girl some more (making Alice in Wonderland blush), knowing this was the Super Bowl audience, guys all geared up for raunchy jokes. It wasn’t a bad ad, but the potential was there to be much, much funnier.

- - -

There. Done. Hope you enjoyed this year’s DASBAAP (Dan’s Annual Super Bowl Advertising Analysis by Pepsi). Special thanks to all of the good ads and especially the terrible ones. Without you, what would we mock on Monday? (Kurt Warner’s feeble attempt to tackle on a 100-yard interception return, perhaps?) Pepsi.

early 200MINE new music

There have been a few hype-worthy albums released already this young year. Maybe people saw how it worked for Vampire Weekend last year to release an album before we even got over our champagne hangovers. Or maybe people are really aliens. Think about it.

Anyway, not only were these albums at the beginning of this year, they're at the beginning of the alphabet. AC Newman, Andrew Bird, Animal Collective and (travelling all the way down to "B") Bon Iver all put out records that helped make my 2009 start out all ablaze with accord. 

AC Newman's "Get Guilty" is a pop album from a pop mastermind for people who like pop-rock-n-roll. Pop, pop, pop. Newman is the frontman for one of my favorite pop bands The New Pornographers, and is adept at expertly-crafting melodies that are intelligent and fun at the same time. He's also Canadian. Think about it. Anyway, this album is so easy to get into ("Changeling" is a standout single) and is a great eye-opener for people who think of the All-American Rejects as the face of pop rock. 

Andrew Bird. Ah... Andrew Bird. That's my reaction to his new album "Noble Beast". I just love this guy. And I can't possibly match his wit or gift for prose. Bird is a classically trained musician (read: he plays the violin and lays off the drum machine), so his whimsical lyrics dance playfully off his arrangements. (See? I can't out-Bird Bird.) From the get-go, Bird's trademark whistling and silky-smooth voice dig in with "Oh No" and other standouts on the album include (but are not limited to) "Fitz and the Dizzy Spells" and "Anonimal", in which I can already picture every fan at his show singing along sincerely to the lyrics "Hold on just a second, don't tell me this one, you know I know this song, I love this song". So true. 

Next up is Animal Collective's "Merriweather Post Pavilion", certainly a salute to Merriweather Lewis of Lewis and Clark and their incredible journey to the west coast of North America. Or another vague indie album title. Either way. This album has received the most acclaim and buzz of all this month, but I'll just admit it now: I don't really get it. Not that that prevents me from enjoying this fuzzy, electro-experiment of layered sound and vocals. Maybe it's good that I don't get it. I don't get how that douchebag "daredevilled" his dirtbike on top of Paris Las Vegas on New Year's Eve. But it was clearly awesome. Me understanding why it's awesome has nothing to do with it being awesome. And that's a relief. "My Girls" is especially reassuring.

Finally, Bon Iver put out an EP (which I believe stands for Elvis Poops, but somehow means a shorter-than-normal album) this month called "Blood Bank". If you haven't had a chance to experience "For Emma, Forever Ago", his LP (which means a normal-length album, and I believe was named for Luke Perry), you really should. At the risk of taking on the tone of your annoying little cousin on facebook that thinks he or she knows everything about anything that's cool... Bon Iver is so hawt!!! LMAO!!! Seriously though, he's amazing. This EP is too short to really show the breadth of what this supremely low-key and emotionally evocative singer/songwriter can do. But I love it. The track "Woods" is a freaky, freaky, haunting vocal piece that I can't stop listening to. It makes me want to befriend a cactus and drive my futuristic space car into a lake. Think about it.

Looking to prioritize your early season purchases? Of course you are, you recession-proofer. I'd say... Bird, then Bon Iver, then Animal Collective, then AC Newman. But like any good dryer sheets, they're all worth a spin. 

Mendo Trip

Jill and I spent last weekend up near Mendocino. Pretty beautiful up there. And beautifully pretty.

Here are some photos near the cabin we stayed in, the tiny town of Mendocino and the nearby redwood forest. The cabin was sandwiched between some steep hills covered in forest and the ocean. It's very remote up there, so we couldn't use our cell phones or two-way pagers. 

Visit my flickr page to see more photos in a sensical photo layout. God love you blogspot, you have absolutely no idea how to lay photos out.

Umbrelliquette

Umbrella etiquette. An oft-overlooked, but painfully necessary part of social interaction.

Here are a few rules to remember when toting your umbrella around town.

1) You are not the only person who wants to stay dry. Please don't shake, spin or tilt your umbrella near other people. I'm talking to you, tiny woman with enormous umbrella I just passed in Chinatown. Were you a wet dog in your previous life? No one wants your second-hand water.

2) Be reasonable. Just as you wouldn't wear an entire polar bear to stay warm, don't carry a 7-ft wide umbrella down the street. It leaves less space for the rest of us on the sidewalk. Unless you're escorting an entire tee-ball team to their game, a good, old fashioned umbrella-built-for-one should suffice.

3) If I'm taller than you (and chances are, I am) don't try to raise your umbrella over me as we pass each other on the street. I will raise my umbrella over you, Danny DeVito. If we both try to raise our umbrellas over each other, we'll look like we're auditioning for a vaudeville show. And I'll get wet anyway, since your wet umbrella will be underneath my umbrella, which - and this might surprise you - I use to keep the rain off my body.

4) This one's for you, guy who discards his broken umbrella in the gutter. Pick up your umbrella, asshole.

5) People are not Gremlins. It's okay for us to get a little wet. Believe it or not, it rained before the invention of the umbrella. Running like it's the apocalypse when there's a "heavy mist" out is absurd.

6) And finally, if you have an umbrella, please don't take up the awning/overhang space nearest to the building. Many people don't realize this, but you need only one protective barrier over your head to stay dry. The overhang will, in fact, prevent the rain from falling on you. If you stand underneath it with your umbrella, you and your umbrella will be dry. So basically, you're saying that your umbrella's comfort takes precedence over another human being's. If you're so concerned with keeping your umbrella safe and warm, why not stick it up your ass?

Obamicons

If you live in a metropolitan area, chances are you saw some colorful, iconic posters bearing the visage of our new president. They were

 designed by Shepard Fairey, who achieved underground fame through his obey giant campaign a few years back. Well, now there's a site where you can upload your own picture and "obamicon" it.

Can you beat my obamicon? My nephew's?

Make your own here!

Nice to see you, Mr. President.

Cia's legs

My dog Cia (pictured here, ashamed and pitiful) recently had surgery on both her hind legs to fix her kneecaps, which had been coming out of socket. She had to wear casts for about a week. And the casts had to be neon green. Actually, they probably could've been much less conspicuously-colored, but nonetheless they were bright, attention-grabbing, neon green. 

She's out of the casts and healing nicely now, but when she wore them my wife and I got a lot of questions as we took her on slow walks through the crowded SOMA streets. I started to make up stories, as is my custom, for why my dog had two neon green casts on her legs. 

One story I would tell was that she had her legs broken by the dog mafia after not paying back the Doggfather. Then, I'd say "Just kidding!" and give myself a courtesy laugh, since almost no one else found it funny. 

Then Cia and I would split a pumpkin sandwich and hastily end our walk. 

music - Moonbeams by Throw Me the Statue

We all know the ancient Greeks were athletic and careless. What you may not know is that Alexandros of Antioch sculpted the Venus de Milo on his rooftop. So when he had finished it, arms and all, he needed to get it to the ground somehow. Luckily, that's when his buddy Reggie stood below him and yelled "Throw Me the Statue!"

Two hundred and thirteen short decades later, this band was born. Throw Me the Statue is the latest and greatest alt rock group to come of out Seattle, a city that has somehow managed to stay on the cutting edge of music while enduring year after year of brutal rain and Birkenstocks.

Truly original and smart, Throw Me the Statue is great music for a classy cocktail party or an ironically-themed parole hearing. 

Here's the video for their single Lolita.

blogging vs microfiche

This is a public service announcement to all my fellow savvy, net-genners. Don't write off old people simply because they're "out of touch" or don't know what the Internet is. For every modern word we use every day, the blue-hairs have their own antiquated term that, due to its utter obseleteness, baffles us. 

For instance, we have blogs, they have microfiche.

We have facebook, they have the snuggie.

We have google, they have their very own pudding.

We have iPhones, they have social security (or do they? (wait, yes they do)).

We have youtube, they have the Teapot Dome Scandal.

So next time an AARP member looks confused when you mention eBay, show some respect. Or they'll ruin robot insurance for all of us.

music - Mason Proper

Is Mason Proper right for me?

If you like Cold War Kids and, say, Wolf Parade, Mason Proper might be right for you. Don't take Mason Proper if you are nursing, pregnant or could become pregnant. Consult your doctor.

Until recently, not even my most plugged-in indie music junkie friends knew this band. Maybe because they're from Michigan and haven't played any shows west of... well, Michigan. But in any case, they're great. 

Both of their albums are sharp, stripped-down rock. Their website lies here.

music - Chunk of Change by Passion Pit

Passion Pit. Great name. Is it a reference to the human crotch? Yep. 

I recommend putting on Sleepyhead, the standout single from this album, closing your eyes, lying down and licking the goo from a Glade Plug-In. It's a mystical journey...

Here's the video.

Holiday Bowl

at the Holiday Bowl
Originally uploaded by mclunch

Jill and I made it to the Pacific Life (let's see if they send me a check for including the sponsor name) Holiday Bowl on Dec. 30th. We were down in SoCal anyway, so it was an easy drive. The result of the game wasn't as easy. The Pokes lost to the Ducks (clad in their usual space alien uniforms) 42-31. Good game, fun to watch, but losing sucks. To make myself feel better, I've included a list of excuses below:

- The injury to Dez Bryant's leg. (He owned their secondary in the first half, before he apparently stepped on a soft shell crab while trying to pivot. After that, he pretty much hobbled the rest of the game.)
- The injury to Zac Robinson's brain. (He took a huge shot, and wasn't the same afterward. He was skipping passes off the turf, and looked a little bewildered out there. I think I even saw him propose to Pistol Pete during one timeout, but I can't be sure.)
- Jill not drinking enough.
- Gundy not drinking enough.
- The Ducks being the superior team. (This one's a little farfetched.)

film - Slumdog Millionaire

Here's my breakdown of the buzzingest movie of the season.

Country of Focus - India

Country of Origin of Director - England

Country of Origin of Country Music - USA

Hollywood Buzz Threat Level - Orange

Descriptive Nature of Film Title to Plot - Accurate

Use of Hinglish - Prevalent

Adorability of Child Actors - Painful

Emotional Investment Level - Bear Stearns

Only Emotion Not Evoked During Film - Spite

Overall Understated Recommendation - Good

music - Evil Urges by My Morning Jacket

My Morning Jacket, or MMJ if you're in a terrible rush, is one of my favorite bands. Evil Urges, their latest album is everything you'd expect from a constantly evolving, inventive band, considering this type of band wouldn't release anything you'd expect. It's a paradox. And it's totally whacked-out. 

The genre-fusing this album attempts is intentional, and Jim James's goal was to show how related all music really is. There are tracks that invoke 70s R&B (Thank You Too!, Sec Walkin), and its traditional counterpoint: futuristic funk-metal (Highly Suspicious). But there's some common ground with their earlier albums (the brilliant "It Still Moves" and "Z") with tracks like Evil Urges and I'm Amazed (maybe the most accessible of any MMJ track to date). The standouts for me are the absurdly-named Touch Me I'm Going To Scream tracks, both Part 1 and Part 2. These two tracks exemplify (yep, I said "exemplify", check back to see how often I reach for that word throughout this blog) what MMJ brings to their fans: high-flying, thoughtful rock n' roll that builds and builds until it explodes all over the floor and there's a huge mess but it's cool 'cause they hired a janitor to clean it up for you.

Tons has been written on this album, from lauders, lauders' daughters and haters, so I won't go on too much more, other than to say that I don't think I could imagine this album coming from any other artist. And until I heard it, I don't think I imagined this strange and precisely executed collection of songs from MMJ either. It's a fascinating listen, and the highest compliment I can give it is that it deserves to be an MMJ album.

My Morning Jacket's site.

welcome

Thanks for reading mclunch would like to have a word with you.

This being the first post, I'll keep it short. So short, I'll cut myself off halfway through the next sentence. I hope you'll